EPL Talk » Dirk Kuyt

Dirk Kuyt: Unlikely Hero

Ethan Armstrong — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:32:23 +0000

When Dirk Kuyt tries to collect a long pass out of the air it’s like the the scene in the nature channel documentary when the gazelle eludes the mountain lion. The cat gets a paw on his prey, but cannot take the thing down. The ball scoots out of Kuyt’s reach and he helplessly chases after it. A swifter carnivore pounces on the ball, and Liverpool lose possession.

Half his first touches are awful. He’s missed out on a fair amount of chances, only bagging 10 goals in 34 appearances. He is sometimes clumsy. He is often awkward.

And he’s one of Liverpool’s most important players.

If you don’t watch him often or closely you might wonder why
he’s a top choice starter for Liverpool and why he keeps garnering caps with the Dutch. He’s certainly nowhere near as fluid or prolific as Fernando Torres. While his low goal tally can be attributed to the fact that Rafa Benitez employs him more as a winger than as a forward, he doesn’t have the speed to burn past a full back and his long cross isn’t particularly deadly.

If you don’t watch him often or closely his blunders might overshadow his effectiveness. Somehow they stick out more for Kuyt, perhaps because his choppy style is screaming for him to be dispossessed. Torres makes blunders too—but they seem more forgivable because they are so damn graceful. Kuyk looks awkward even when he’s making a brilliant play that results in a goal. So we deem him a bungler even though he’s diligently rescued some key points for Liverpool this season.

What Kuyt lacks in dribbling and finesse, he makes up for in his knack for stripping the ball of opposition players, a shinning example was when he dispossessed Cristiano Ronaldo in one of Manchester United’s few serious attacks when they hosted Liverpool in March. His on-the-pitch diligence means even though his first touch fails him at times, he directly contributes to Liverpool’s ability to hold onto the ball.

While his goal scoring won’t break any records this season, his moments of glory have been pivotal, however infrequent. In consecutive matches against Wigan Athletic and Manchester City, Kuyt scored the late winner after Liverpool had been behind. Against Portsmouth he scored an 84th minute equalizer (Torres later nabbed the winner.) He also equalized in Liverpool’s other match against Manchester City, scoring in the 78th to secure a point.

Despite not being the paciest player in the world, Kuyt somehow seems to be in all places at all times. He’ll pop up in the back corner to dig out the ball from an attackers grasp. Then he’ll appear in the box to lay the ball off to another attacker. Though he doesn’t have the traditional qualities of a winger, he succeeds there simply out of sheer determination. He burrows in toward the box, searching for that short pass to Torres or Gerrard or he kicks the ball back out to Arbeloa for the cross.

In an upcoming transfer window I could certainly see Liverpool going after a talented outright right winger. If this is the case, Kuyt’s usefulness will not have expired. His versatility means he can play in midfield or up front. He’ll be a brilliant squad player, coming on for a tired striker or winger, and his work ethic means he won’t let being a sub deter him or wound his ego.

When we think of great football attackers we think of players with flair and ability like Torres, Ronaldo or Messi. But the Dirk Kuyts of the sport have their undeniable place too: the inexhaustable workhorses. Their contribution is not always as obvious, but it exists in abundance. And though Torres and Gerrard will continue to be regarded as Liverpool’s key hitmen, Kuyt will be there, stripping, assisting, turning and scoring. Whatever it takes: that’s his job.

The Premier League Horror Hair Starting XI

tyduffy — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 15:51:42 +0000

This team would win neither titles nor plaudits. But, they certainly would entertain. They may even possibly scare small children. Without further delay, here is the most follically challenged/enlightened team in the English Premier League.

Manager: Joe Kinnear (Newcastle) Joe Kinnear is old school and tempestuous, his hair coincides. It’s a mullet. It’s a bird’s nest. Combined, it is just a mess.

GK: David James (Portsmouth) This group of goalkeepers has scant follicle creativity, making David James the run-away choice. Whether it’s cornrows, the standard fro or that slick do that lasted one magical day, the Pompey keeper does a job.

D: Gareth Bale (Tottenham) Bale’s hair looks as freakishly overzealous as the rest of his body. It defies styling. It defies gravity. Yet, with all of its characteristic Welsh mysticism, it can’t conjure a win for Spurs when he plays.

D: Fabricio Coloccini (Newcastle) When Coloccini arrived at Newcastle, he drew comparisons to Kevin Keegan in his prime. Whether you term it to be a perm or a lions’ mane, it’s molto fantastico.

D: John Terry (Chelsea) Terry does not necessarily belong in this team, but his general jerk factor should leave him open to even the most far-fetching ridicule. He deploys the devious tactic of using height and product to mask an ever-worsening coverage issue.

D: Bakary Sagna (Arsenal) Normally, the blonde tarantula look would be absurd. But, Bak rocks it as an everyday look rather than a fanciful fit, which bizarrely has made it seem normal.

M: Stephen Ireland (Manchester City) Ireland should be excluded, given his shorn status. But, the premature balding followed by the mysterious solution he found last season leaves a lingering effect.

M: Steven Pienaar (Everton) Cornrows can be a nice look, even a sensible one for the footballer wanting neither muss nor fuss. However, Pineaar’s shaving pattern around the ear, which is not his natural hairline, jars the visage.

M: Marouane Fellaini (Everton) Fellaini already has ten yellow cards in 17 Premier League appearances. Don’t tell me it’s his height or prodigious skill that attracts the referees. It’s all the hair.

M: Dirk Kuyt (Liverpool) Kuyt’s hair is business in the front and party in the back, with style nowhere to be found. He’s a 1980’s Larry Bird sans the moustache.

F: Djibril Cisse (Sunderland) (C) Djibril Cisse no longer shocks with his hair. Any style or color is conceivable. His head’s entirety has merged into a single unit of expression. He’s even married to a hair dresser. This craggy veteran wears the armband.

F: Andy Carroll (Newcastle) Andy Carroll emulates Kevin Federline. He’s already got the pattern of juvenile delinquence. With his new hairstyle, he’s got the fire as well.

Dirk Kuyt: From Joke to Top Bloke for Liverpool

Josh Allen — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:51:37 +0000

Another weekend of Premier League action and another cracking Dirk Kuyt goal. Now who would have predicted that this time last season? Certainly not me and with good reason because his goal tally in the league last season was just five, managing 11 in all competitions for the Reds. So far this time around the Dutchman has already managed five in the league, seven in all competitions.

Kuyt’s transformation from potential big money flop to an invaluable part of the team has certainly been a steady one. Signed from Feyenoord in 2006 for £9million I must admit I thought Liverpool had bought yet another striker who wouldn’t cut it for them. The likes of El Hadji Diouf, Milan Baros and Vladimir Smicer had all arrived with big price tags and failed to improve Liverpool’s goal tally.

It’s always a fair assumption to make that players arriving from overseas will take some time to adapt to the English game. For example Cristiano Ronaldo wasn’t an instant success but he certainly has become one. It would be fair to say that the most important thing Kuyt did in his first season was to dispatch the penalty that put Liverpool through to the 2007 Champions League final.

Perhaps Kuyt had been resting on that one spot kick to keep the Liverpool fans on side for the next season. Signed as a striker the Dutch international was expected to bang in the goals but struggled and was instead deployed out on the right hand side of midfield. There is no doubting Kuyt’s work rate, as he seemed to endlessly sprint from one part of the field to another, but his end product was what was being called into question.

Those asking the questions became so loud that there were rumours that Hamburg were preparing to make a bid for the flying Dutchman in the summer. However Rafael Benitez is thought to be high on Kuyt based on his endless work rate and has stayed put for now.

Good thing to because Kuyt’s rich vein in form has co-inside with Liverpool’s sustained push for the Premier League title. The football odds on Benitez’s side lifting the Premier League trophy have been shorten, albeit the campaign still being in its early stages.

Kuyt had become known as a big game player but as he demonstrated against Bolton on Saturday the 28-year-old has become indiscriminate about who he scores against which will please all of those who cram into Anfield every other week.

Truth of the matter is that whilst Kuyt is having a good season so far he is certainly being helped by the team around him who are actually mounting a serious title challenge for the first time in along time. It’s an old cliché but Kuyt is part of a well oiled machine, which will continue to improve if the Dutchman keeps up his standard of performances.

Liverpool’s Magic Triangle: Kuyt, Keane And Gerrard

The Gaffer — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:09:48 +0000

After watching English football on television for more than 30 years, I’ve watched countless boring tactical games like yesterday’s two nil win by Bolton against Manchester City. But I’ve also seen many incredible games and wonderful individual efforts that still make me jump out of my seat.

This season, the club that is impressing me the most of late is not Chelsea. It’s Liverpool. Despite their cruel defeat against Tottenham, Liverpool have two ingredients this season that rival managers only wish they had.

First is their creativity in front of goal. The magic triangle of Dirk Kuyt, Robbie Keane and Steven Gerrard has been so effective in creating chances to score up front. The way these three players link up and instinctively know where their colleagues are running into positions is incredible to watch.

Watching other teams play football can be so predictable especially in the way that they attack the goal. But the mark of a great team is when they do the unthinkable and seemingly impossible. That has been Liverpool up front for the last few weeks. Creating goals out of nowhere and fooling defenders because they have no idea what’s going to happen next.

The second impressive attribute of Liverpool’s this season has been their team spirit. If you go back and watch highlights of their recent games, keep a close eye on how the teammates are genuinely patting each other on the back and acknowledging the contributions of each player. It may sound inconsequential, but team spirit does make a difference. It’s unfortunately rare to see. You’re much likely to see Ashley Cole mouthing off at his teammates because someone didn’t pass to him while he was open.

Liverpool still have improvements to make this season if they want to win some silverware, but they’ve finally put together a team that has two main attributes that are so hard to achieve. The challenge for Liverpool will be continuing to play the art of football up front and remaining creative especially when Fernando Torres returns and breaks up the magic triangle of Kuyt, Gerrard and Keane.

Spurs Snatch Last Gasp Winner Against Liverpool

The Gaffer — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 20:20:01 +0000

The scenes of jubilation this evening were incredible to watch as Tottenham Hotspur’s Roman Pavlyuchenko scored a last minute winner to beat Liverpool 2-1 at White Hart Lane.

In just one week, Harry Redknapp’s reinvigorated Tottenham side have beaten Liverpool and Bolton, and staged an incredible comeback against arch-rivals Arsenal.

In the pouring rain, Tottenham Hotspur never gave up, which is one of the redeeming factors about Harry Redknapp’s side. After going down 1-0 to a sensational Dirk Kuyt goal in the third minute, Liverpool were completely in charge of the game as they hit the bar and crossbar, and had several other chances that were so close.

Liverpool continued to push forward but, against the run of play, Spurs pulled a goal back after a Jamie Carragher own goal which he headed in from a corner. Then in the last minute of the game, David Bentley unleashed a powerful shot that Reina tipped away, but Pavlyuchenko was able to sneak in the winner into the corner of the net.

The scenes at White Hart Lane were so wonderful to watch especially after all of the heartache the fans have suffered all season long after the dark days of Juande Ramos. One negative aspect of the fan’s behavior was how the Spurs fans booed Robbie Keane whenever he touched the ball. When Keane was substituted, the chorus of boos from the Tottenham fans was very noticeable, but thankfully the majority of Spurs fans gave him a standing ovation.

The win was a lucky win for Spurs. But in order to be lucky you have to create luck, and that’s what Spurs did. The win pushes Spurs up to third from bottom. It just goes to show how much of a difference a manager can have on a team.

Big Four Return To Top of Premier League

The Gaffer — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 00:44:52 +0000

Today was a turning point in the 2008/2009 Premier League season as one, it marked the first weekend this season when all Big Four clubs won their matches. And two, the top four teams in the Premier League are now the Big Four clubs — at least for the next 24 hours.

Each of the Big Four won in such an emphatic manner today that you have to wonder whether the dream of a club outside the Big Four disrupting the order at the top of the table now seems like a pipedream.

Middlesbrough and West Brom were totally outclassed by Chelsea and Manchester United respectively with the Blues winning 5-0 at the Riverside and the Red Devils beating the Baggies 4-0 at Old Trafford. Arsenal started off on the wrong foot against Everton, but overturned the early goal they let in to stride to a 3-1 win at the Emirates. Liverpool faced a tougher time going down 2-1 at one point against Wigan at Anfield, but playing another amazing comeback to win it 3-2 with Dirk Kuyt netting two goals.

The performance by the entire Chelsea team was awe-inspiring. So too was the attacking tour de force of Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney and Dimitar Berbatov for Manchester United. Liverpool’s Dirk Kuyt could end up being the player of the season at Anfield this year, while Samir Nasir showed what a good buy he was at Arsenal.

What do you think? Is there still hope for the other 16 clubs in the Premier League to give the Big Four a run for the money this season, or is the gap widening?

Newcastle and Liverpool Impress During Premier League Super Sunday

The Gaffer — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 11:41:52 +0000

Finally. We finally got a Premier League weekend where we had two matches with teams playing their hearts out and giving it 100%. Too often this season the majority of matches have been one-sided and negative. But fair play to Manchester City and Liverpool, and Everton and Newcastle for two thoroughly exciting matches.

In both games, the away teams never gave up and fought hard to go for the win or to rescue a point.

Newcastle looked like a team reborn. Full credit to Joe Kinnear for turning this team around and getting them to play with the confidence that we know they’re capable of. In the second half especially, Newcastle’s passing game was impressive and was their penchant for one-touch passes. Alas, it wasn’t enough for a win, but Newcastle fans and players will be ecstatic over the level of performance they showed at Goodison Park in the 2-2 result.

The player who stood out for me in that game most was Damien Duff. The man has been a ghost of a player for more than a year, so when he finally showed us how much of a battler and skilful player he is, he finally reminded me of his playing days at Chelsea.

In the Manchester City against Liverpool match, this one had everything. A red card, a horrible injury, an incredible comeback and wonderful goals. Even the sold-out crowd was getting into it with City fans visibly getting out of their seats and, later, Liverpool fans doing a jig after pulling out an equalizer.

For the first time in a very long time, Liverpool impressed me with the type of Premier League performance that we usually only see from them in the Champions League. Sure, the home win against Man United was impressive but United had the hand in that game with two awful mistakes. At the City Of Manchester Stadium, the goals scored by Liverpool were completely under their control.

I was also impressed by Rafa Benitez’s tactics, especially the substitution in the latter stages of the second half where he brought on Keane and Dossena. Keane played a pivotal role in the third goal for Liverpool when the ball rocketed off him into the path of Dirk Kuyt who scored the winner to make it 3-2 to the Reds. That was luck for Keane, sure. But he played his heart out for every ball and definitely made an immediate impression as did Dossena down the left wing.

Manchester City, on the other hand, has a lot of work to do. This is the second game this season where they have led against top four opposition only to suffer a defeat. Against Chelsea, they led after Robinho knocked in the free kick. Against Liverpool, they continued to play their attacking open style of play even after being 2-0 up, which enabled Liverpool to get into the game where they won the battle in midfield.

If we can continue to see performances like these from Liverpool and Newcastle, we can expect to see both teams surprising the opposition this season. The challenge for both teams is that they’re usually unable to maintain that level of consistency. We saw it earlier this season when Newcastle almost beat Man United at Old Trafford in the opening game of the season, but then they suffered the low of their defeat against Arsenal. Liverpool has been similar. Despite their wonderful wins against Man United and Man City, they failed to score against the likes of Stoke and Aston Villa.

A Rough Night for John Arne Riise

tyduffy — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 03:25:57 +0000

Liverpool and Chelsea are often blamed for sucking the essence and style out of football, and no player embodies that more than Dirk Kuyt. His work-rate is tremendous., his vitamins are in order, and he covers great ground. At the same time, he has the finesse of a demented walrus and is as pleasing to the eye as a swarthy Barbara Bush. He is…effective.

It was Kuyt who jack-knifed a bobbler through the rugbyman’s five-hole to put the Reds 1-0 up, the lone puncture in this dreary affair. The margin held for much of the match. The result would have placed Liverpool in a commanding position for the second leg at Stamford Bridge, but it was not to be.

In the 95th minute of extra time, John Arne Riise inexplicably executed a diving header, straight into the back of his own net, saving Chelsea from themselves. It was a moment of pure madness. A magic night at Anfield.

Riise’s gaff gives Chelsea the conch for the return fixture, a precious away goal that, with Chelsea’s defensive record at home may prove decisive.

But, do not count out Liverpool. They are prone to fits of craziness, but often that works to their advantage. If Chelsea merely come out to hold, Liverpool can easily weasel back into it.

Champions League Odds and Sods 2 April 2008

tyduffy — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 05:58:59 +0000

Liverpool and Arsenal had an Oscar and Felix feel. Both clubs are each other’s bogey teams. Arsenal’s Frenchified fancy dans cannot break down disciplined defenses and remain prone to adept counterattack. Lump and pray Liverpool struggle when forced to play chess on the ground rather than checkers in the air. The clash can create soccer nirvana or reaming vulgarity. This 1-1 draw had a bit of both.

If a side should feel aggrieved, it is Arsenal. They dictated the second half, only to shoot blanks. The Carragher rules apply to Dirk Kuyt, who pulled Hleb down in the penalty area without reprimand. Kuyt also picked this one match to maraud around the pitch like a crazed baboon, rather than remain oblivious. The match could hinge on the Pool’s away goal.

Apparently, Avram Grant rowing down the straits on his sinister raft of skulls failed to shock the obstinate Turks, as Fenerbahce beat Chelsea 2-1. The Dark Lord has vowed “not to rest” until the rematch next Tuesday, because he looked like he was sleeping well before. The match is more tabloid fodder than demonstrative, however. Expect Chelsea to close them out 1-0 next week at Stamford Bridge.

Roma tumbled without their talisman Francesco Totti, beaten 2-0 by Manchester United. The two teams play a similar style, but United is the seven diamond version. Isn’t Rooney overdue for his bi-monthly metatarsal injury

Premier League Odds and Sods 17 March 2008

tyduffy — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 03:04:49 +0000

Derby 0 – Manchester United 1 This match epitomizes the season for both clubs. Derby worked but weren’t quite good enough. United’s only enemy was their own cuteness. Ronaldo should have scored at least three, or more according to his own verbal tally.

Birmingham 1 – Newcastle 1 The result risked being critical, but little Mickey was there to muscle it back to mediocrity. He may have saved Keegan’s last silver hair. Not a win, but certainly a start.

Sunderland o – Chelsea 1 Leave it to the Dark Lord to plunge the Stadium of Light into darkness. So it goes for Sunderland. Keane should save some Just for Men for his beard.

Liverpool 2 – Reading 1 Matejovski’s strike was nice. Mascherano’s was spectacular, with a few tasteful “Fuck Offs” tacked onto it. Apparently, Dirk Kuyt played in that match.